Funny to think

Isn't it funny to think about how, when you need something from me, you can write sweety, hottie and all that kind of sweet things but the minute you get what you want out of me.
Then I go back to being a nothing in your eyes and I'm not werthy more than a smiley.
And the funny thing is that I can sit for hours and hours and cry over you and think about why I keep trying to break throug your facede when it always end up hurting me.
But the funniest part is that no matter how much I think about it I can't find just one reson to stop trying, and that is because you meen the world to me and nothing lees and I wish you would see that someday.

Stuck

He is stuck in my head, I cant get him out. He is always there no matter how much I trys to tell myself that I just dont feel that way. But I do!!

And its killing me to see him everyday and just know that there will never be anything, because even if he felt just the least of what I feel it would be the biggest risk, and it would never work. I care so much about him that I in no way would wish to smash our friendship by telling him how I feel.

Flower

I know its dump. But I want him back, all what he brings with him.
The fights the good times, the sad times and all the other times we have had together, I could go throug all that just to be with him, I just couldnt see the meaning after the 3 break up. But now I can, cleare then ever, I want him back more then I want anything else, he means the world to me.
He was my first and my only real love, and I'm not over him and I never think I will be.

We had the most amazing 5 years together, as boyfriend and girlf´riend and as bestfriends. We laught and we cried together, we were always there for each other. I will never forget the times I was so sick and had to go home from practic and he just sat with me to my father picked me up, not saying a word just holding me close, and in that minute I could just feel my whole world vibrating trough him, and in that second I knewed, I loved him and I still know because I always get that happy feeling inside when he text me, it doesnt have to be anything speciel when he text it can be ''hey'' it still makes me happy and gives me butterflys in my stomach.

hah gay

http://www.hahgay.com/

Having the biggest laugh with my friend, because of this page.
Seriously, check it out you want regret it!!!

I knew it

I aim, I hit and I'm right he has no interest in me what so ever. He got what he wanted out of me and now I mean nothing more then an old pair of shoes to him.
And the worst part is that I already knew because its the same every time I just can't hold on to them and I hate myself for it!!

Irritating

I can't get you out of my mind, and it's frustrating!
I don't want to let you go but I don't wan't to think about you all the time because I know that, whatever I feel for you, you dont feel it back......

Someone that can put themself in my place, and know how this feels???
It's terrible and if it's realy bad it can feel like it's eating you from inside...

No fun

hey... no that feeling when you look at your phone after being away for a while and no one as texted you what so ever... and if someone has its your mother??
Well i know and its a pretty not funny feeling.
You feel alone and not appreciated, like the world couldn't give a shit, if you were there or not.

But its not that I feel sorry for myself, I'm obvisouly just not that person you want to text.
I'm that kind of person that people only get friends with, if they can use you for something, and then afterwards just throws you away, like you are some old shoes.
And with guys its just like I'm only interesting for 2-3 weeks and then they find some skinny bitch that are so much prettier then me, and then I'm not interesting enymore. And of course I dont want them to stick around if they want someone else, but it would be nice to find a guy who would keep me for a longer time, just for a change.

But for all you people who feels the same way, dont get depressed or think you are a bad person, course you are not, you are a wonderfull person and I'm sure someone loves you just the way you are, and if they are not in your life jet I'm pretty sure you will find that person/persons very soon!

Answer

He answered me today, I was so happy, maybe I jumped into conclusions to fast, maybe his phone just died. But anyways.
I miss him so much it hurts but I don't want to be to Klingonish so I can't write it to him, we aren't even a couple so if I wrote it, it would be like saying that I wanted to get together, and believe me I do but it's just so complicated when we are so fare from each other....

Loved you?

I cant believe you would do this to me, after all I have given you the thanks is to cut me of like nothing ever happened.?
I even gave you a change to say that you don't want me but no you are using the silent way if telling me:'(

I really like you but if it has to be this way I don't know if I can take it?
I have been heard to many times before and I don't know if I can go through the sadness and self blaming again??

I don't remember

I Don't Remember...

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

Long time, no seen

Hey
It's a bit time since i last blogged, but it's because my life is pretty good and not that exiting.
I'm going to school and doing very well so far.
My love life is okay, I have meet this amazing guy, who is totaly cute and very handsome.
In my family theres nothing to complain about.
I have great friends, even though some of them are very far away.
I'm maybe going to Nickelback's conzert in the nearest future.

In the next weekend I'm going to a birthday and I'm exited to see if all of the girls from my class (including me) can get along for 2 whole days.

The weekend after that I'm going to be spending the weekend with the amazing boy, who's name I want write in here.

But i was just writing a little check up, to show you that I'm not dead.

Same as always

I tought and hoped that things would change, but I can see that it hasn't.
Because just like last year, every time I step into the class no one cares about me or notices me, I'm just someone that is in the class but no one wants her there.
And I can just feel all the way into my heart that this year is not going to change anything, I'm going to be that withdrawn person that sit with music in her ears and reads all the time because she has nothing els to do

About me

I have made my blog very anonymous, but I think you should know a little about me that I maybe don't tell that much people....

I really really don't like being a girly girl, if I have to choose friends I would definite choose boys instead of girls, cause' even though boys can get feelings for you (which doen't happen to me) it is just much easyer with boys then wich girls.

I love love love rock music, but I also admire classic music and I think it's fascinating and very beautiful.

I'm also a very nervous person I always pull myself down when I'm doing something and telling me that I'm not doing good or that everything is going to go wrong.
And for the most I tells myself when I am writting with someone (particular boys) that I'm not good enough and how the hell they want to writ whit me because I'm just a nobody.

The way I restore after a long day best is if I can sit in my room and just sing my lungs out to my favourit music.

Fantastic

I just got back from camp yesterday, and it was the best week in the summerbreak.
It is amazing who much people can meen too you after just 6 days, I dont think I have meet four people ever that I clicked so good whit from the start.

I was very sad to go home and there were also some tears, but I am so happy that three of them are going to visit me soon.

Nervous

I'm going on a camp next week so there is conna be a little time where I don't blog, but don't worry as soon as I get home you will get a opdate about the things I have experienced there :-)

But I have to admit that I am a little nervous about going to this camp, because I am going on my own and I'm a little bit scared of that I maybe dont get that much friends because I'm not the most out going and talking person, but still I think maybe it could be good for me to get away by myself and get some new friends that wants to be with me and not the one I know from home.

Boys

You know that when you love someone but you know that it will never be you two.....
Well i know that feeling all to well.
It's like when something good happens to you or you see something cute, you think of him and wish he could be there to experience it with you, it's like when you lay in bed all by yourself you wish you could roll over and then he would be there to hold you in his arms<3

But it's also like when something bad happens to you that you think of him and again wishes that he could be there to comfort you and make you feel better, and that you know that you will feel better if you just saw him smile at you.<3

And you always gets the biggest smile on your face when he text you and butterflys in you stomach if he calls you just to ask you what you are doing, because it makes you feel special that a boy like him would even care what you are doing, and when you find out he is with his friends and still call you just to small talk you feel even more speciel.<3

It's the best and the worst feeling in the entire world

Interesting

To day i was looking at some blogs and while I was reading it I thought to my self that know have I read about 5 blogs that is about common peoples every day and somehow they were all very very interesting every day and there were always that little story about something lavish. And I can't believe that almost every body that blogs don't sit and think to them selfs when they are typing that they have to give a little lie to make it special so that people are going to like it but isn't the point of blogs to tell people what you do or think not to tell them what you want to do or want to think??

Conscience

Do you know the moment when you look at person and think:
-There can’t possibly be anything she can complain about, she has friends around her and she is happy and smiling and just having a good time.

But even though the person has friends around her, but you don’t know that this happy and smiling girl actually feels very alone, and that she has a very tough life and the only way she can survive is by pretending that she is happy, and that she doesn’t need more then she has.
She always the one that smiles all the time because if she doesn’t hold her pain to herself, ‘cause if she shows her pain she will break down and then she won’t have the strength to pull herself together again.

So next time you think or say to a person, no matter if it’s a girl or boy, that they shouldn’t complain about their life, ‘cause you think there are living a great and almost perfect life. Stop yourself and think twice before you say something to that person, ‘cause you never know what secrets there have on their conscience.

Me

You know the feeling that every guy turn and look at you, because you walks and talks with so much confidence that everyone adores you?
Well….. I don’t
And sometimes it is a nice thing not being attractive to any boy, and that you can just be yourself ‘cause no one really cares about you...
I’m that girl that no one turn their heads for, I’m the girl whom no one really gives a shit about and almost any guy would dump, ‘cause if any guy ever talks to me then it is because we are just friend our he wants help to something.
But I’m also that girl who some people are frighten of ‘cause I can be very overwhelming sometimes because I put on a faced that are a very outgoing, funny and loud and even pervert person.
Sometimes I can also be that girl who just says things that should come out of much older peoples mouths’.

But when I put one those facades I don’t think of it I’m in that mode and then that’s what I am.
And the only reason I do it is because I’m too afraid to show the real me, and if the real me sometimes pops out I undermine it by doing something goofy or I just walk away.
But when I am the real me I’m that shy girl who always does her homework, because if she doesn’t have her intelligence she has nothing, and that’s me, if don’t have my intelligence and my good grades I got nothing, but me fragileness and that isn’t something I show everybody.

My fragileness is the part of me that can sit a Friday night all by itself and just cry to music or listen to Disney because it needs a break from all the grown up things there are going on around it.
The part of me that can be torn to pieces by one single person and never fully get together again.
It’s the part of me that only a little group of people gets to see, and the part of me that have been torn to pieces so many times by people I really trusted, but even though they have torn that and my heart to pieces I would still do anything to keep those people in my life, ‘cause if I have showed you my fragileness, then it means that I really care about you, and that you always will be deep in my heart whatever you do.

If you feel the same I will just give you 4 simple words…YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!