No fun

hey... no that feeling when you look at your phone after being away for a while and no one as texted you what so ever... and if someone has its your mother??
Well i know and its a pretty not funny feeling.
You feel alone and not appreciated, like the world couldn't give a shit, if you were there or not.

But its not that I feel sorry for myself, I'm obvisouly just not that person you want to text.
I'm that kind of person that people only get friends with, if they can use you for something, and then afterwards just throws you away, like you are some old shoes.
And with guys its just like I'm only interesting for 2-3 weeks and then they find some skinny bitch that are so much prettier then me, and then I'm not interesting enymore. And of course I dont want them to stick around if they want someone else, but it would be nice to find a guy who would keep me for a longer time, just for a change.

But for all you people who feels the same way, dont get depressed or think you are a bad person, course you are not, you are a wonderfull person and I'm sure someone loves you just the way you are, and if they are not in your life jet I'm pretty sure you will find that person/persons very soon!

Answer

He answered me today, I was so happy, maybe I jumped into conclusions to fast, maybe his phone just died. But anyways.
I miss him so much it hurts but I don't want to be to Klingonish so I can't write it to him, we aren't even a couple so if I wrote it, it would be like saying that I wanted to get together, and believe me I do but it's just so complicated when we are so fare from each other....

Loved you?

I cant believe you would do this to me, after all I have given you the thanks is to cut me of like nothing ever happened.?
I even gave you a change to say that you don't want me but no you are using the silent way if telling me:'(

I really like you but if it has to be this way I don't know if I can take it?
I have been heard to many times before and I don't know if I can go through the sadness and self blaming again??

I don't remember

I Don't Remember...

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

Long time, no seen

Hey
It's a bit time since i last blogged, but it's because my life is pretty good and not that exiting.
I'm going to school and doing very well so far.
My love life is okay, I have meet this amazing guy, who is totaly cute and very handsome.
In my family theres nothing to complain about.
I have great friends, even though some of them are very far away.
I'm maybe going to Nickelback's conzert in the nearest future.

In the next weekend I'm going to a birthday and I'm exited to see if all of the girls from my class (including me) can get along for 2 whole days.

The weekend after that I'm going to be spending the weekend with the amazing boy, who's name I want write in here.

But i was just writing a little check up, to show you that I'm not dead.

Same as always

I tought and hoped that things would change, but I can see that it hasn't.
Because just like last year, every time I step into the class no one cares about me or notices me, I'm just someone that is in the class but no one wants her there.
And I can just feel all the way into my heart that this year is not going to change anything, I'm going to be that withdrawn person that sit with music in her ears and reads all the time because she has nothing els to do

About me

I have made my blog very anonymous, but I think you should know a little about me that I maybe don't tell that much people....

I really really don't like being a girly girl, if I have to choose friends I would definite choose boys instead of girls, cause' even though boys can get feelings for you (which doen't happen to me) it is just much easyer with boys then wich girls.

I love love love rock music, but I also admire classic music and I think it's fascinating and very beautiful.

I'm also a very nervous person I always pull myself down when I'm doing something and telling me that I'm not doing good or that everything is going to go wrong.
And for the most I tells myself when I am writting with someone (particular boys) that I'm not good enough and how the hell they want to writ whit me because I'm just a nobody.

The way I restore after a long day best is if I can sit in my room and just sing my lungs out to my favourit music.